Here I am
...sitting at a desk contemplating my future and past. I am in the last week of my psychology class, still betwixt mania and equilibrium. However, that is irrelevant. What matters is fashion, crazy is acceptable there and there is where my future dwells. This road or that road? Question existing.
Q&A
Who are YOU?
What makes YOU happy?
What are YOU passionate about?
What do YOU have to offer this world?What do YOU want from this world?
I am Shanice. I am a young adult, unstable with my responsibilities, pursuing everlasting happiness, seeking adventure. I am happy when I am inebriated (high or drunk), I am happy when I am being loved, I am happy when I look and feel beautiful, I am happy when I have created something beautiful or have done good. The energy of good people around me makes me happy. I don't know how happy I am right now. I am not satisfied with my position in life but that is another topic. I am passionate about self expression. Be it through my poetry, my way of dressing, my attitude, my appearance. I love being myself, all walls down. It makes me happy to know that everything about me is of me. Individualism is very important to me. I know who I am, I always have. Public perception has little to no effect on me. It used to hurt me, not being understood, being called weird, because all I knew how to do was be myself. Then I began to take it as a compliment, I AM DIFFERENT. Although I know that there is nothing original under the sun, I feel violated when the things that make me me become fads. When my individuality is expropriated I feel as if my valuable personal characteristics are devalued. I have offered myself to the world. My love for life, my words, my drive, my joy... I want to make a positive impact on everything and everyone because everything and everyone makes an impact on me. I want to continue learning and growing in this world....
What makes YOU happy?
What are YOU passionate about?
What do YOU have to offer this world?What do YOU want from this world?
I am Shanice. I am a young adult, unstable with my responsibilities, pursuing everlasting happiness, seeking adventure. I am happy when I am inebriated (high or drunk), I am happy when I am being loved, I am happy when I look and feel beautiful, I am happy when I have created something beautiful or have done good. The energy of good people around me makes me happy. I don't know how happy I am right now. I am not satisfied with my position in life but that is another topic. I am passionate about self expression. Be it through my poetry, my way of dressing, my attitude, my appearance. I love being myself, all walls down. It makes me happy to know that everything about me is of me. Individualism is very important to me. I know who I am, I always have. Public perception has little to no effect on me. It used to hurt me, not being understood, being called weird, because all I knew how to do was be myself. Then I began to take it as a compliment, I AM DIFFERENT. Although I know that there is nothing original under the sun, I feel violated when the things that make me me become fads. When my individuality is expropriated I feel as if my valuable personal characteristics are devalued. I have offered myself to the world. My love for life, my words, my drive, my joy... I want to make a positive impact on everything and everyone because everything and everyone makes an impact on me. I want to continue learning and growing in this world....
the goal
the goal is happiness
eternal or otherwise
the road is long
the ground is rough
but I have wings
and I am learning to fly
aiming for the sky
drones will aim for me
to shoot me down
to put me on my knees
if need be I’ll shoot back
I am fighting no war
I am resisting the attack
I need no tanks no weapons
I am headed to oasis
I am seeking my blessings
and the goal is happiness
what scares me on hallows eve
I have a pending fear that you will be just another chapter in my life story
although my love for you runs as deep as the ocean
my love for life and liberty runs as wide as the universe
I am a beautiful butterfly you clasped between your palms
my love for life and liberty runs as wide as the universe
I am a beautiful butterfly you clasped between your palms
today on tumblr
rihanna, always and forever.
90's is everything, duh. But about the big/small rule, fall isn't around the corner anymore, it's here. Which to me means no more micro-everying. Crop tops paired with hot pants is not longer the move, and quite honestly it's getting boring and predictable. Layers are back but in a broader way. Crop tops in the winter has never been a fashion taboo for me, but a way to clean up the look is layers. Balancing the outfit.
cocoas current fave trends
off the shoulder long sleeve
knits knits knits
fur furever (fur coats, fur trimmings, fur details)
leather midi skirt/ mesh insert midi
silk bombers
plastic/pvc
Joggers (none leather, ew)
polazzos (still!)
trumpet skirts
hologram
furry textures
textures period
90s halters !!
parka-like coats
shades for winter (!!!)
bright sneakers
slides
KAWAII style
trousers/pants
colored metallics (see Lanvin spring 14)
knits knits knits
fur furever (fur coats, fur trimmings, fur details)
leather midi skirt/ mesh insert midi
silk bombers
plastic/pvc
Joggers (none leather, ew)
polazzos (still!)
trumpet skirts
hologram
furry textures
textures period
90s halters !!
parka-like coats
shades for winter (!!!)
bright sneakers
slides
KAWAII style
trousers/pants
colored metallics (see Lanvin spring 14)
book club maybe?
I really want to start an urban fiction book club. I love to read and I always have. Instead of getting read bedtime stories, I'd read to my Daddy Kevin every night. At any given time I may or may not have a book in my purse. I want to get involved on campus that doesn't require me to be a student (which I am not atm) and what's better than getting us young black girls from in front of the mirrors for selfies and into a great novel that's interesting and relate-able. Idk, just a though...
List of my favourite urban fiction authors:
Sister Souljah
Eric Jermoe Dickey
White Chocolate
K'WAN
Wahida Clark
Ashley & JaQuavis (Murderville Series)
Noire
Ashley Antoinette (Moth To A Flame)
List of my favourite urban fiction authors:
Sister Souljah
Eric Jermoe Dickey
White Chocolate
K'WAN
Wahida Clark
Ashley & JaQuavis (Murderville Series)
Noire
Ashley Antoinette (Moth To A Flame)
totes obsessed with: Peggy Bundy
90s party at the club tonight she was the first to pop in a bitch head... maybe
feel filled 9/23
i feel filled with negative energy
i've been irritable and snappy
trying to figure out what it takes to make me happy
but I can't seem to center myself
Quev helps, and I love him.
why do i keep rebuilding walls he's already knocked down
pushing him away and then curling up under him
to the point that I'm almost too vulnerable
two extremes and I can't seem to center myself
I need to go into myself and roam
and roam and roam and roam
and all the while finding me altogether
i've been irritable and snappy
trying to figure out what it takes to make me happy
but I can't seem to center myself
Quev helps, and I love him.
why do i keep rebuilding walls he's already knocked down
pushing him away and then curling up under him
to the point that I'm almost too vulnerable
two extremes and I can't seem to center myself
I need to go into myself and roam
and roam and roam and roam
and all the while finding me altogether
TODAY IS THE REVIVAL OF THIS BLOG!
I am reviving my blog. My life is very different but I do not want to lose touch with myself. This is a personal blog, not for fashion or beauty, nor for solely poetry, but for everything that is me and every side of me. The title, lookaroundshailo will remain the same because it is the things around you that mold you into the person you will be come. Not only the obvious physical things that you can actually see, but to look in a deeper way. Hopefully my insight on life will grow as I plan to document my thoughts, dreams, ideas, everyday inspirations, blabs, my whacky conspiracy theories, etc. This is a me blog.
"her smile and her laugh and her inviting eyes makes make me blind to her actions at one time
like a cake, she has layers she’s smart and witty and a little bit crude sometimes rude
mostly sweet her touch is soft but makes my heart beat like snare drums and kick drums
like music flowing together we become one natural heat radiant like the sun
coming from with in her ecstasy burns between our skin our pulses prancing our minds dancing
to a place where she has no past, i have no past, and our future is irrelevant -the now."
like a cake, she has layers she’s smart and witty and a little bit crude sometimes rude
mostly sweet her touch is soft but makes my heart beat like snare drums and kick drums
like music flowing together we become one natural heat radiant like the sun
coming from with in her ecstasy burns between our skin our pulses prancing our minds dancing
to a place where she has no past, i have no past, and our future is irrelevant -the now."
"I’m bored with being bored. It’s annoying and I want more. I want to explore. I want to create. Carpie Diem, I don’t wanna wait. I wanna do everything, but I’m doing nothing at all. I wanna do the most with the least, and turn nothing into it all. I want to jump, I want to fall. I want to get back up and be held and kissed. I want to swim and smile and ignorantly bliss. But for now I’m just bored. and it’s boring."
"talkative, loud mouthed, i talk alot of shit
the door way to my brain in the middle of my face
words float around in my heavy mind like outerspace
words fly fast out of my mouth like they’re in a race
i need to stop, take a breath, watch my pace
my memory sucks ass so the things i say can’t be traced
every intricate sentence is always laced
with foul language, stutters, I’m always tongue tied
how fast the words move in my mind i should be brain fried
i can’t even stop talking long enough to sigh
I don’t even try hard enough to say i tried
words thrown together so impulsively they sound like lies
fluttering from one topic to the other like a pretty butterfly
you’re in such awe by my words you have no choice to comply
my words are so slick, which make me so sly
you’re a dumbass and my word’s are a trick
talkative, loud mouthed, & i talk alot of shit"
the door way to my brain in the middle of my face
words float around in my heavy mind like outerspace
words fly fast out of my mouth like they’re in a race
i need to stop, take a breath, watch my pace
my memory sucks ass so the things i say can’t be traced
every intricate sentence is always laced
with foul language, stutters, I’m always tongue tied
how fast the words move in my mind i should be brain fried
i can’t even stop talking long enough to sigh
I don’t even try hard enough to say i tried
words thrown together so impulsively they sound like lies
fluttering from one topic to the other like a pretty butterfly
you’re in such awe by my words you have no choice to comply
my words are so slick, which make me so sly
you’re a dumbass and my word’s are a trick
talkative, loud mouthed, & i talk alot of shit"
Marvin's Room - Shailo Edition
He's been regretful for a while
Which explains why he picked up the phone to dial
He told me fuck that nigga that you're always texting
So different when he's high seems like i never met him
His love is the number one sponser of the monster I've become
Terrorized of love, when I feel it i'll run
Paralized when i see his number, but I'll answer anyway
He says he called just to say don't stay
Good thing i dont have any signal
He's screaming "fuck that nigga" -why can't we just be civil
Are you high right now?
Have you touched the sky by now?
Reefer courage, so high on his high horse
Fortunately I've seen worse
Everytime he falls I'll always be there to catch him, stupid me.
I'm so used to it, I love it when he's blasted, truthfully.
Which explains why he picked up the phone to dial
He told me fuck that nigga that you're always texting
So different when he's high seems like i never met him
His love is the number one sponser of the monster I've become
Terrorized of love, when I feel it i'll run
Paralized when i see his number, but I'll answer anyway
He says he called just to say don't stay
Good thing i dont have any signal
He's screaming "fuck that nigga" -why can't we just be civil
Are you high right now?
Have you touched the sky by now?
Reefer courage, so high on his high horse
Fortunately I've seen worse
Everytime he falls I'll always be there to catch him, stupid me.
I'm so used to it, I love it when he's blasted, truthfully.
bittersweet poetry*
it's bitter and it's sweet every time you're close
my heart plays tug of war and I never win
I don't know whether to push or pull
whether to shut you out or let you in
your love is acidic tearing me down
making me nervous, shakes and fidgets
you love me, hate me, hurt me, & I get it
I all it as if I'm with it but I want you to quit it
your love is bait, dumb as a fish I bit it
your love has a gate with a lock & I picked it
I want to leave but I also want to stay
my heart steps forward but my brain has me restrained
but ultimately your love has me in chains
like S&M add a whip & it'll excited me
but with your eyes locked into mine it frightens me
a love so flammable should brighten me
spark the flame and along comes the fight we
spit cure yell hit punched and fell
back into a place where i don't know if I'm in heaven or hell
whether to stay or to retreat, whether to push or pull
whether it's bitter or sweet.
my heart plays tug of war and I never win
I don't know whether to push or pull
whether to shut you out or let you in
your love is acidic tearing me down
making me nervous, shakes and fidgets
you love me, hate me, hurt me, & I get it
I all it as if I'm with it but I want you to quit it
your love is bait, dumb as a fish I bit it
your love has a gate with a lock & I picked it
I want to leave but I also want to stay
my heart steps forward but my brain has me restrained
but ultimately your love has me in chains
like S&M add a whip & it'll excited me
but with your eyes locked into mine it frightens me
a love so flammable should brighten me
spark the flame and along comes the fight we
spit cure yell hit punched and fell
back into a place where i don't know if I'm in heaven or hell
whether to stay or to retreat, whether to push or pull
whether it's bitter or sweet.
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