diary entry - 7/23/10 some time in the AM.

my sleep patterns get jaded when my thoughts are fucked. she knows about me & him. im glad - its been a long time coming. sooner or later the truth comes out. i love her to death but our friendship is unhealthy. i spent too long in her shadow rather than by her side. i was always being compared to her. she always one-upped me, or belittled me. i swear she's a good person at heart and i love her to the grave but i cant jeopardize my sanity and integrity and my confidence by continuing to being inferior to her. best friends are equals, she doesnt see it like that. friendship is not a competition. its love & equality. true friends dont feel any better or worse than the other. they admit insecurities w/each other. she could be the realest person i know but i feel like she's not honest w/herself. he ego fucked our friendship.