sincee right now i'm feeling kinda comfortable with sharing how i feel
(for some strange reason] , i'll kinda tell you why ;
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yu know when you learn a lesson & yu tell yourself your not gonna go back there ,
like when your little & yu touch something hot & afterwards yu know not to touch it again ?
but your tempted to touch it anyway ? & yu do it ? & get burned ?
& then yu feel stupid because yu knew yu shouldn't have done it .
like yu knew better ?
well i know that i knew better , but i did it anyway .
i thought if i went with the flow & knock down those walls that it might be different .
but it isn't -- im back to pissing myself off so there , i lose again .
& its my fault , but oh well .
you want a poem ?
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'restless as i toss and turn finding reasons not to let myself fall: because if i give him my love, my heart, my all, he'll give it back no strings attached. because if i love him unconditionally he'll love HER andi'll wish it were me. because if i let him hold my hand, his other will hold the lies to feed me. but the reason they will neverunderstand: if i fall in love with him, he'll fall in love with me, and we'll live hapilly, how could that be ?'n love with me, and we'll live hapilly, how could that be ?'